Every day I’m drowning, sounding
My voice out for The Lifeguard
Outside I’m smiling, inside frowning
Life’s a b- I mean very hard
I’m a believer, bought with blood and born again
But in this season, God took my faith, set fire to it
Called it a test, to bring out my best, but
I’m ready to quit, I feel like sh- I mean down on my luck
Every single day I fuss, every
Other minute I want to cuss
Bet I bust. Next person talking crazy
Bet I must, sock em in the face-y
I wake up depressed, and I go back down determined
Breakfast I skip, and by lunch I’m preaching sermons
In class and out, I’m seeking my higher purpose
But then I feel like a point on a GPS. Isolated. Worthless.
I reach out for my friends, but the ones I need are always out of reach
So I look for the lost, perhaps it is a moment to teach
I need a place, to use my faith
Win a battle, pray a healing
Drink a deadly poison that would have other people reeling
I’m feeling. That’s the problem. I’m feeling.
Kinda like Robin.
I feel like a sidekick, the way I get my side kicked
When I profess to be a Christian, who lives a bit different
Contrary views, currently broke as the next man
When God said “will you?” I said “Yes man.”
Of course, you’re my Lord, and all things you can afford
So why now is my tank empty, and gas prices over 4…?
Greater things are the signature of my faith
My shoes of peace, the foot gear for this race
But suddenly it’s like I’m racing Flash
I cannot keep up the pace
Are You doing something new, or did I stray from Your grace?
Stray away from Your Name?
Stroll away from all You are, and everything I’ve claimed?
Cuz that what it feels.
Like someone done ripped off the band-aid
And ain’t nothing healed
You said I was in Your hands
To put Your Kingdom first, and all the earthly goods would stand
So why am I worried? I have no clue.
It’s why I beat myself up – for not trusting You.
For not gutting me, and organ swapping with You.
Lord give me Your heart, and the dedication of a Jew
Lord give me Your mind, and Spirit Spikes to stay renewed
Basically I surrender – like getting saved the first time
I wish somebody had told me – accepting You is once, but redemption and faith are until I die….