The Beat

Every day I’m drowning, sounding

My voice out for The Lifeguard

Outside I’m smiling, inside frowning

Life’s a b- I mean very hard

I’m a believer, bought with blood and born again

But in this season, God took my faith, set fire to it

Called it a test, to bring out my best, but

I’m ready to quit, I feel like sh- I mean down on my luck

Every single day I fuss, every

Other minute I want to cuss

Bet I bust.  Next person talking crazy

Bet I must, sock em in the face-y

I wake up depressed, and I go back down determined

Breakfast I skip, and by lunch I’m preaching sermons

In class and out, I’m seeking my higher purpose

But then I feel like a point on a GPS.  Isolated.  Worthless.

I reach out for my friends, but the ones I need are always out of reach

So I look for the lost, perhaps it is a moment to teach

I need a place, to use my faith

Win a battle, pray a healing

Drink a deadly poison that would have other people reeling

I’m feeling.  That’s the problem.  I’m feeling.

Kinda like Robin.

I feel like a sidekick, the way I get my side kicked

When I profess to be a Christian, who lives a bit different

Contrary views, currently broke as the next man

When God said “will you?”  I said “Yes man.”

Of course, you’re my Lord, and all things you can afford

So why now is my tank empty, and gas prices over 4…?

Greater things are the signature of my faith

My shoes of peace, the foot gear for this race

But suddenly it’s like I’m racing Flash

I cannot keep up the pace

Are You doing something new, or did I stray from Your grace?

Stray away from Your Name?

Stroll away from all You are, and everything I’ve claimed?

Cuz that what it feels.

Like someone done ripped off the band-aid

And ain’t nothing healed

You said I was in Your hands

To put Your Kingdom first, and all the earthly goods would stand

So why am I worried?  I have no clue.

It’s why I beat myself up – for not trusting You.

For not gutting me, and organ swapping with You.

Lord give me Your heart, and the dedication of a Jew

Lord give me Your mind, and Spirit Spikes to stay renewed

Basically I surrender – like getting saved the first time

I wish somebody had told me – accepting You is once, but redemption and faith are until I die….

 

 

 

 

~The Wordsmith

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