Snapshot

At the job, too depressed to work…
At home, too depressed to write…
This is my life…
This- is my life…

I’m not the smartest, the fastest, the strongest, the wealthiest, the most talented, the most courageous- not the most anything except most likely to question what it is exactly that I am.

And this has caused me to give pause to what my life has been meaning when it lives and says that it has meaning. What am I here for?  The winding road marking the perpetual pursuit of women is unfullingly filling- any time you stop for a breath you find at once that you are unfulfilled. 

At the job, too depressed to work…
At home, too depressed to write…
This is my life…
This- is my life…

So what then? Am I a God man fashioned by God’s hand?  More like a forgotten seashell who only manages to catch the echoes of His voice once the ocean has receded and carried my momentary afflictions back out to sea…

This can’t be living.

Words lose flavor. Hues lose color. Gasping on the thin wisp of passed on confidence left to me by my father… longing with the 5 year old in me for the soothing touch and hug of my mother…

At the job, too depressed to work…
At home, too depressed to write…
This is my life…
This- is my life…

They should’ve never told me I was born a crown champion-

Because now all I expect are wins.

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