Life of a Queen (Dear Maya Part II)

(Dear Maya Part I)

**

Dear Maya,

Your passing hasn’t become any easier.

Sometimes your expired life arises inside my mind and I feel deeply inclined to cry.

But I am working on moving past that. Not to forget you, but to blossom from you.

You are the butterfly who discovered angel wings mid-flight… The ray of glory from which the celestial beings receive their cue… You are the irreplaceable imprint of God’s thumbprint upon the DNA of humanity. Grandma Angelou, you are truly what it means to be inspiration.

I know we are not truly related, but Grandma is what you are to me.

I slipped and fell into deep ravines, and found out I had wolves at my back instead of sheep. I’m a lion by nature, so I bristle by trade, but true royalty doesn’t obliterate people, it pulls them back from the grave!

Oh what a friend we have… in Jesus.

Grandma Angelou I’m beginning to understand. Like the legendary rose in the concrete, I am beginning to grow. Like the orchard in a palace courtyard during spring, I am beginning… to flourish.

Your hand is upon my back.
Your voice giving shape to my throat.
Your heart teaching mine a new beat.

And your love… your love IS.

And I am a part of it.

Thank you…
I love you…
I am sad we never got to meet…
But grateful that we will.

Happy Birthday Grandma Angelou. 🙂

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The Juvermeinx

I have decided to have nothing more to do with them.

I will leave them to rot in the chaotic, lying fumes of their hell razed fairytale.

I shall let them linger in the cheerful woes of their mocking delusions.

I shall let them perish in their arrogant displacement of balanced thought.

I will leave them to their imminent demise upon the island of righteous self intent.

I shall despair not when the sky of truth comes crashing down on them, and they have no cloud for rescue.

I shall trouble myself no further with their elegant modeling of the libel they struck me with.

I shall tend to the well being of only a precious few.

All earthly hell be damned, for all earth shall be damned in hell.

There is one path to Heaven and I have taken it.

Do not confuse the roads leading to the pathway to Heaven, for the pathway to Heaven itself.

It is perhaps most un-angelic of me, but I am neither angel nor am I Savior.

I am done with them, I say. Finished. Let dust flecked feet upon well trodden cobblestones, be our witness henceforth.

Sincerely (if I may),

The Juvermeinx

Unlimited

There’s a hero in there… somewhere.

I know this because I can’t sleep without dreaming of people I want to inspire and I can’t be awake without seeing maxed out potential all around me. Sometimes I feel like lost poetry in motion, emotionally charging for creative assault and battery. I feel the coursing rivers of a curious strength in me, but the clouds across my mind have me feeling like my undiscovered gifts are a hidden disease.

I’m not aiming to please, but it feels like I missed the mark. If I don’t stop it quickly the ghostly burden of failure before enduring will drive me to my knees. There’s a hero inside me somewhere, but I feel like my super powers are super used to stay super sane. The picture of mediocrity in a different frame. Measurable discord in the membrane…

But in the quiet moments of my thinking… that hallowed space between one thought and the next… a mighty force deep in my soul crackles with power and vision. The voice of God pours through and I’m reminded that the battle isn’t the fight- it’s the perseverance. What? Easy to say for You Almighty God! You don’t have to deal with the doubt in my thoughts… you don’t have the burden of being blessed with something so incredible that you don’t really have words for it…

I say there’s a hero somewhere inside me, but I’m not sure I’ve earned it… the right to use that word. But then again- how can you earn the right to something you were born with? I didn’t choose this- creativity, vision, hope- I woke up with it.

It’s me.

There’s not a hero somewhere deep inside afterall… because the hero is me already.

Gruesome Isolation

This is the beginning of where the end hates its start. You keep your monsters under your bed? Mine pay rent right in my heart! It’s hard to believe my demons can live in my blood stream, but when threads defy seams it seems that’s why I can never swim upstream.

Exactly.

I’m a two winged bird madly in love with gravity. When I look up at the sky, the earth just slaps me. Every time I pull away, the ground roughly grabs me. The roughness is all bite with no bark, and all these naked trees fallin on me leave a mark. Tryna do right, but progress cuts the lights out with the scissors that I used in art class to illustrate my life’s route.

Everybody wants what I got, but don’t wanna pay me to get it… Love the way I live, but critiquing every imperfect feeling.

Well I’m feeling like an uncensored ceiling- so high and disconnected, profanity is the only vanity where I’m pro myself and still have fans that can see me. Like I’ll stay cursed if I don’t, but I’ve never been a sketched etch to waste a rhyme, so I won’t.

Just know that I’m alone in this boat.

Everybody’s lookin for escape, I’m just tryna be the goat.

Dear Fear

If you try to run up on me you’ll get pistol whipped with the piss you toled me with. I refuse to calm down and like a pack of racist savage hounds I can’t reverse this frown until I’ve hunted you, fired several rounds and then chewed you to bits. You’ve got a double edged tongue so I’m using two bits. Youre stupid, you stole the arrow from Cupid to shoot me with unaware that  I was already madly in love with your nemesis. Courage is my baby and she aint gotta pay me to do this. I’m like the combination of a sugar high toddler and an assassin- I’ll kill you then run in circles in public screaming “me do it, me do it !!”  You get one dis track with no remix cuz you’re so far beneath my feet what the heck am I gonna chop and screw with? It’d be foolish to assume that you could go more than one round with me- you’re like a cannonball target to a sharpshooter, fool you’re full of rounds like the teacup ride at Disney ! Not even worth being called enemy, but there’s enmity, so if I see you around here again imma make you commit suicide by spittin my lyrics- “Oh no- it’s the end of me !!”