And There Was Her

I don’t know what I want… or fully what I am… But I know what she is. I recognize her like the foggy haze of a dream stolen from the hearts of better men.

She is thunder in the storm, a voice cutting through the chaos giving purpose to the light.

She is my best kept secret, hidden away in chambers of love so deep I’ve yet to discover it for myself.

A deluge of sparkling fireworks, scalding the adoration clean off my tongue, rendering me speechless.

She is the cinnamon scent of well scored holiday cinema…

She is the candle I light when I don’t know what else to do and night won’t let me sleep.

A roaring delight, volcanic passion thinly wrapped.

She is a universe of unspoken divinity and I, a priest desperate for the prayer to charm her…

She is the aspiration of the ocean, the magic patiently sought by stardust.

A flower spinning petals through the bar room air, dashing the drowning depths of escapism with her dazzling photosynthesis.

She is the pause in my cadence, that sacred word just on the tip of my tongue that I can’t ever seem to remember…

She is the solitude of the hero and the flag of the warrior- nobility knows no identity without her.

An unblemished flaw, juxtaposing past and prologue, disturbing the stories swirling all around me with her reckless dedication to being so in the moment that all others fall away…

She is the response to our Lord’s very first command.

Let there be light…

And there was her.

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The Best

My God’s love is the best, sturdy unlike all of the rest, its-
The most glorious experience I’ve ever known, He X-Rayed me with His grace, and then forgave me to the bone…
I’m home.
Home is where the heart is-  or so they say.
But for arguments sake, I’ll claim what they say, and say that my home is Heaven because that’s where true love’s true source doth lay…
My mother, my grandfather, play cousin, best friend, and all other namesakes etched upon the mantlepiece of my heart…
They-  may have had an unavoidable appointment with the grave, and although my heart feels lost I know that Jesus saved, so-
Heaven is my home.
You see-  though throughout this earth I may roam, I have resisted my natural intuition to persecute Christians because I myself have been forgiven…
Its changed my livin…
This world is thirsty for quenching, but never receives it because salt water is what they sippin….
Love.
I don’t worry about theology, or those smarter than me, or the ins and outs of logics topography…
Because you see-  before I knew anything….
Love knew me.
So that’s all that I speak.
The roots run deep….
Watered by His blood and sown in my iniquity, stronger than hatred and completely all enduring….
My God’s love is the best…
Mostly because He is THE God…
God.
Love.
Unique and synonymous…
And simply-
The best.

The Beat

Every day I’m drowning, sounding

My voice out for The Lifeguard

Outside I’m smiling, inside frowning

Life’s a b- I mean very hard

I’m a believer, bought with blood and born again

But in this season, God took my faith, set fire to it

Called it a test, to bring out my best, but

I’m ready to quit, I feel like sh- I mean down on my luck

Every single day I fuss, every

Other minute I want to cuss

Bet I bust.  Next person talking crazy

Bet I must, sock em in the face-y

I wake up depressed, and I go back down determined

Breakfast I skip, and by lunch I’m preaching sermons

In class and out, I’m seeking my higher purpose

But then I feel like a point on a GPS.  Isolated.  Worthless.

I reach out for my friends, but the ones I need are always out of reach

So I look for the lost, perhaps it is a moment to teach

I need a place, to use my faith

Win a battle, pray a healing

Drink a deadly poison that would have other people reeling

I’m feeling.  That’s the problem.  I’m feeling.

Kinda like Robin.

I feel like a sidekick, the way I get my side kicked

When I profess to be a Christian, who lives a bit different

Contrary views, currently broke as the next man

When God said “will you?”  I said “Yes man.”

Of course, you’re my Lord, and all things you can afford

So why now is my tank empty, and gas prices over 4…?

Greater things are the signature of my faith

My shoes of peace, the foot gear for this race

But suddenly it’s like I’m racing Flash

I cannot keep up the pace

Are You doing something new, or did I stray from Your grace?

Stray away from Your Name?

Stroll away from all You are, and everything I’ve claimed?

Cuz that what it feels.

Like someone done ripped off the band-aid

And ain’t nothing healed

You said I was in Your hands

To put Your Kingdom first, and all the earthly goods would stand

So why am I worried?  I have no clue.

It’s why I beat myself up – for not trusting You.

For not gutting me, and organ swapping with You.

Lord give me Your heart, and the dedication of a Jew

Lord give me Your mind, and Spirit Spikes to stay renewed

Basically I surrender – like getting saved the first time

I wish somebody had told me – accepting You is once, but redemption and faith are until I die….

 

 

 

 

~The Wordsmith