Unlimited

There’s a hero in there… somewhere.

I know this because I can’t sleep without dreaming of people I want to inspire and I can’t be awake without seeing maxed out potential all around me. Sometimes I feel like lost poetry in motion, emotionally charging for creative assault and battery. I feel the coursing rivers of a curious strength in me, but the clouds across my mind have me feeling like my undiscovered gifts are a hidden disease.

I’m not aiming to please, but it feels like I missed the mark. If I don’t stop it quickly the ghostly burden of failure before enduring will drive me to my knees. There’s a hero inside me somewhere, but I feel like my super powers are super used to stay super sane. The picture of mediocrity in a different frame. Measurable discord in the membrane…

But in the quiet moments of my thinking… that hallowed space between one thought and the next… a mighty force deep in my soul crackles with power and vision. The voice of God pours through and I’m reminded that the battle isn’t the fight- it’s the perseverance. What? Easy to say for You Almighty God! You don’t have to deal with the doubt in my thoughts… you don’t have the burden of being blessed with something so incredible that you don’t really have words for it…

I say there’s a hero somewhere inside me, but I’m not sure I’ve earned it… the right to use that word. But then again- how can you earn the right to something you were born with? I didn’t choose this- creativity, vision, hope- I woke up with it.

It’s me.

There’s not a hero somewhere deep inside afterall… because the hero is me already.

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Dear Maya

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Dear Maya…

It pains me we never met. It was an ordinary Wednesday, til I caught wind of your death, now I’m distressed- fingers running through my hair and getting lost like broken barretts. I would never claim to be your greatest fan, but the breeze that blew through your cage as you sang, carried your scent of greatness through time and space over to me.  It was like a seed of your love DNA was reframed and painted an awkardly strange yet desirable portrait in me.  The only thing I wanted to be… was your grandson.

Not in the legal, social sense, but in that special way that sometimes happens between two people… You see, I had this fantasy- and in it… I would walk up to you. Hesitant. You would smile. I would smile back. Then you’d take my hand and I’d cover it with my other one. We would look deep into each other’s eyes and see the kindred light shining the Morse code of the poetic mind in flashes of brightness that out shined the sun and made it look like tire rubber. And then, before any words were spoken, we would just… know. I became your grandson; And you became my grandmother.

The next words will probably make people scoff at me, but the pain of your passing is the anesthetic protecting me… I never read any of your books, never memorized your classic pieces, but I was fascinated by you as a person and how you taught the believers about believin. Truth be told, in every interview and recording I never saw you as old, but as living poetry. Every word, every breath, every phrase, every inflection of imparted wisdom, was literary excellence dipped and baptized in the Heavenly Nile- I fell in love with love off of your FREESTYLE!!

But now… like a confused caterpillar trying to get out of its shell, my heart is cracked with grief. Trying to rake away the sentiment that everybody leaves right when I need the strength to stay free. I don’t know where they store the tools to shift heart gears, but when I read that you died I shed real tears… I’m not a snail in a shell, I’m a caterpillar in a broken cocoon… but I’m not sure what’s coming through. Can’t tell if it’s a butterfly or something underdeveloped… I was hoping that one day you would tell me.

Dear Maya… I love you. I never met you, but I love you… that’s what your legacy is all about isn’t it? Love. And purpose. To cradle in your arms a lost and aching generation and tell them it’s okay to walk in your footsteps, as long as we yield control of the road to God and how He paves it.  Your words… your heart… your spirit… were aMAZING… I’m praying to be like you- the hero I loved. Which is probably why this hurts so badly. I would gladly trade any of my successes for seconds to look you in the eye and tell you…

I love you Grandma Angelou.

People

It was to the queen that I turned to when the tide rose.  Accustomed to the bland kings and their drab prose I poked my nose in the direction of sympathetic winds and unlikely hypotheticals.

To the queen.

“Not I,” she said ever so gently.  “Not I. Not today. For it is not my time, and this is not time’s way.” Of course I knew what she meant.  I was a man and it was to men that I was heaven sent, but men are so stupid when you need something real- visceral miserable amidst this system nonsensical.  And now nobody understands what I’m saying.

Let me try again.

To the queen I turned… and she gently turned me away… To the ground my eyes burned… but it too pushed me away…

So I cried to my God. “Lord… please fix this.”  I’m still not quite sure if He listened, but my interactions within the ranks of my own gender have been laced with more tolerance. I don’t write people off as quick.  I don’t sneer my nose at the perceived lack of intelligence.  I work hard to give the gift I was given.

Patience…

The ultimate source of inspiration.

New Day

Woke up this mornin feelin like a boss
Poppin tags like my swag was from Ross
Similar to Mike Jack I’ve got a bad moonwalk
Outta this world like Marvin and that ain’t table talk
But I am breakin boards- karate choppin the charts
Unsigned hype, no signature for what is right
Been shinin all my life, you can find me in the light
I’m a surgeon of impact, connoisseur of inspiration
Superman sent to make superlatives of the nations
I’m walkin on clouds. Standin on water.
If ya wanna unseat me, ay buddy don’t bother
Come for a king, and you’ll wake up servin paupers
Threaten my state of being, and you’ll end up in a walker
Put this veil on like a middle eastern daughter
I suggest you team up with greatness before you end up in a coffin
Cuz it’s a new day, and I’m feelin so swell
Hell pales when Heaven shells itself out so well
And I’m here to represent it. Avatar for the kingdom
Shocking power like Benjamin, indomitable like freedom

Cloud Full of Sunshine

Guess what I’ve got?  A cloud full of sunshine.

Most folks have rain in their clouds… but nope, not in mine

There may sometimes be sadness in my smile, but in my sadness there is hope.

There is strength in my legs to rebound back from the punch line of one of life’s jokes.

Call me right now… page me if thou must

The rumors are true – I’ve gone green – in God I trust

I trust that this is not the end of the road, and that I’ll not die alone

I trust that even though I’m in the fire… He wouldn’t put me here if I wasn’t gold

You see – my trust and belief are in higher things… helium dreams

Visions that don’t stare me in the eye, but snatch me off into the air like a gust of wind under a kite

Walk on water?  I could if I needed to.  Flex my own power?  Of course – the only thing I pump is the Truth

One thing have I come to realize…

In this world – the people are divided into two types

One type is absolutely out of their mind, and enslaved to the grind… Fearlessly afraid of failure, aware that they are running out of time

The other type is completely insane, with light on the brain, working harder than most, but not enslaved to trade… Matter of fact – they’re so twitter the way they trend freedom everyday!

If the only way to dominate this world is to be crazy… then that helps my vision not be hazy

I’ve already tried the first type, and it left my vision jaded, sowing seeds of self hatred

I’m still undergoing repairs.

Now it’s time to try type two… The vision’s in the air, and I’m flying up for the alley-oop

Guess what I’ve got?  A cloud full of sunshine.

It’s not the wispy vapors of wishful thinking…

It’s not hallucinations born of drinking…

This.  Is.  The.  Real.  Thing.

At least so I believe..

The fact that I’m already standing out as an anomaly is more than enough proof for me

When my sky rains, hails, and spits lightning at me…

My clouds of sunshine, shine ever brighter on me…

I really encourage you to try it.

You have to be crazy – that’s a given.

And you can always revert back if you don’t like it.

Go green.  Trust.  Seek light.  Work hard.  Manifest vision.  If you can think it… you can do it.

I haven’t even done anything yet.

But I do know one thing…

I’ve got a cloud full of sunshine.

~The Wordsmith