Holy Ground

As I pave the lane through my growing pains, I’ve noticed I walk differently now that my armor’s changed.

I’m a little more selective with who I expose my cracks and chinks to… a little more protective over the parts that still don’t work quite right.

My flaws are sacred.

Tongue is laden, not with seductive toxins drained from rose petals, but with the burden of bearing the shield of Goliath. There is no protection for the priests inside the tabernacle walls, they must guard themselves by what they speak, before they let anyone in at all-

And I’m the same.

So if I show you the holes in my magical perfection… the wounds where blood still leaks and hasn’t quite dried… know that I’m not interested in having to defend myself against you. Rather, I have begun the true hero’s journey of discovering what it means…

To trust you.

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Lying Smiles

Seductive curvature of appeal…

Smiles neither reveal what is true nor what is real- they merely strengthen us to trust in the optimistic beliefs held by our imagination. A good smile is like the armored doors to the king’s chambers- even if you manage to break through you’ll only wind up with a fight on your hands. And even if you win your only evidence will be the mocking trails of blood spilled on your hands winding down and curving into a…

Smile.

A glint of the eyes. A flash of teeth. You think you’ve found your lover, but that could just as easily be your worst encountered enemy. A smile doesn’t mean anything. Sorrow, evil intent, heartache, deception, surprise, irritation…

They all wear smiles.

Trust is completely reliable and almost never readily identifiable because the period to persuasion’s every sentence is a smile. My dear friend died last year from cancer- ask me about her and I will lie to you with my teeth. Deep down there is a joy she brings, but the rest of me is locked in endless grieving.

I have seen the ripples of deception from people who think they’re hiding something from you… basked in the sunrays of brilliant beams from those who think their flaky nature is undetectable. It’s all beautiful really. The artistic ways that Lie has made itself poetically known.

A smile of all things…

Twisting the natural essence of joy itself into a weapon against its bearer… cuz that’s the real kicker. The lying smile is a steady drip of intravenous poison.

But you can be different. I believe in you. Do not fall prey to the snares of society. Do not succumb to the way of these curved beauties…

All these beautiful- lying smiles…

🙂

Sweet Mystery

 

Sweet.

You’re beautiful. Angelic. Inspiring. Living, breathing poetry beyond all of my writing…

Mystery.

Thoughts out, but heart hidden. Conversational, but with your own mission.

Sweet mystery.

That’s exactly what you are to me.  I’ve become a student of those pupils peeking out from behind the veil that separates the two of us.  There’s a truth in us- true beauty no lust.  But I swore off the romance til I could live the book of Romans… waiting on Heavenly timing, but the clock hands seem paralyzed.  Pair of lives.  All good things come in twos.  The best friend I ever did have, but should I say so it is you I might lose…

My sweet mystery.

Well, not mine per se, but I associate all tasteful things with soulful gravity placing them neatly around me.  But listen… this is night fall, and I don’t wanna see your knight fall- I don’t know if it’s my banner, take a gander, cuz just possibly… it’s me that you were looking for.  But night falls bring sun rise, and lucky me, I’m a son of God. This letter is for you- not for everybody.  But close your eyes when you read it, lest you tell somebody…

People listen,

I’m enticed- by her mystery, an addict like doin mathematics on caffeinated energy.  My vision is prismatic- I see multi-dimensional things.  An asthmatic for ordinary tactics, the mundane is toxic gas and it just stops up my breathing.  I’m willing, to believe that you’re not the only mystery.  That deep inside this home is a Holmes for soul deciphering.  To bring hearts out to the light to breathe.  She’s clinging to that word she got, but I’m her whole vocabulary…

Not braggin. Not boastin. Just sayin and hopin. That maybe the picture of God’s promises are painted in slow motion, and His brush of choice is patience just to get you where you’re going… The word can stay the same, while manifestation embraces change.

Penny for your thoughts…

Nevertheless, you’re ever the best, and with this last letter I put it to rest… No need to freeze, or panic, or stress- what has been decreed needs no further digress… Lest go further I press, and share what is left… This bundled package of “hm” perched here on my chest…

But no- you’re not the only enigma around town.

In this vibrant, exciting land of you and me, sweet mysteries abound.

Bubbles

Look I’m just tryna be your friend…

I know that you’ve grown to distrust men, and they leave you disgusted, cuz they rusted your lovin, and burned it in the oven, but – I’m not tryna get nothin.  I mean – sure I find you attractive, and I thoroughly enjoy your laughter, and perhaps through this friendship we’ll find love after – or perhaps not – but that’s not my reason for sticking around.  I enjoy our friendship sound.  A beautiful echo from here to the clouds.  Something about you is different – we vibe well.  I don’t mind sharing secrets – but this can only work if you share yours as well.  But you hide inside your bubble…

I’m just tryna be your friend.

And I mean, I want to share, and build and grow, but your holding back puts a cap on the freedom to know.  I can only give so much, before I am addressed by prudence and wisdom telling me to hold up, and wait for your trust to show up.  … I wish – I wish I came with a resume.  So you could see what I’m about, where I’ve been, where I’ve sinned, where I’ve been redeemed, and that every word I’ve said, I meant.  I see you behind that bubble friend.  And I have a love for you, that moves me to be patient.  It’s the love of the bond closer than brothers, not of romantic relationships… That may come, it may not, but it’s possibility is not a reason to insert distance…

I’m just tryna be your friend.

So I – poke here and I poke there.  I ask questions and at the same time try not to pry.  I hold back my usual methods so that you do not get scared… You don’t have to pop the bubble – just let me inside.  Life is but a vapor – we don’t have years to walk this process out.  It’d be different if we were strangers, or opposites, but we’re not – we’re cut from the same cloth.  Ticks of the same tock.  Bearers of the same Cross.  … I look in your eyes, and see your past in your soul.  Fragments of pain, wisps of ache, the remnants of passions that once lived and now exist as ghosts… In your jokes I hear nuggets of your testimony.  When you cut yourself off so you don’t reveal stuff, I hear echoes of unspoken truth, and see beyond the fluff.   … But what can I do?  What can I say?  Your bubble… your bubble…

I’m just tryna be your friend.

Why you?  Why do I care?  Answer me this – what would you do if in the midst of your flight you saw your kind in the air?  Would you stick to your flock, or go and make the instinctive connection?  Would you stay in your ring of comfort, or remove it and become visible?  Would you risk being a duo, or remain a solo indivisible…?

I take leaps.  I free fall.  I have faith for wings.  I believe that my true friends sit on the other end of the seesaw… So as long as it takes – I guess here I will wait.  Not as your prospective mate, or over eager date – but as a vault in a bank… I won’t chase so you can see my wells – how far they go – and know that I’m safe… I see you friend.  I am not your opposition.  Blow this bubble away… And trust the sincerity of my heart when I say –

I’m just tryna be your friend.

~The Wordsmith

Raining Outside

It’s raining outside.

I appreciate the days like this, because they most remind me of you, and our relationship.  All around us are clouds, and recklessness, and rain… but in my heart there is warmth for that is where you are.  In our house of love, the fireplace blazes strong, creating an atmosphere against the chaos of the world where only you and I belong… The shadows flicker on the walls, the music breathing life into the background, playing soft… And I could swear that there is a rose on your cheeks.  You – smell so sweet, and your beauty is glistening… I know not from what garden you were plucked, but I know in that garden there must currently be a vacancy, because two of you in this world is too much sweetness like an ocean full of candy.  You see – as long as I’m inside with you, I forget that the outside is crude.  The rain becomes old news, because with your every breath – I experience something brand new.

It’s raining outside.

Do you remember our first experience in the rain…?  Ha.  You had just gotten your hair done, but your car had broke down so – as the habit is now – you called my name.  Needless to say – I was late.  You had an attitude, but I smiled and told you that you looked great… You rolled your eyes, and tried to look away, but at the corners of your lips I spied the smile that said that all was now okay.  Then we made the stop we never should have – to grab a few snacks from the store.  Going in was fine – it was coming out that the sky hit the floor.  I was carrying the bags, and walking ahead so I missed most of the scene, but apparently… You slipped in a puddle, held a basket to still your sway, then a gust of wind hit, your umbrella slipped, and your hair went from civilized to untamed…  You don’t know this, but I laughed.  Needless to say a smile did not fix that, and somehow this was my fault.  I would live that day a thousand times simply because you are in it…

It’s raining outside.

The drops are pounding the pavement with increasing frequency, relentlessly hurling themselves with no decency.  It’s kind of mesmerizing… Soothing as it washes over my senses… Moves my inner being to hop up and start jumping fences.  Joy overtakes me, and fixes my smile like a dentist.  I am Learning’s apprentice.  The Force is with me – I’m about Jedi business.  My love how can I love you beyond anything you know?  Shall I sing a thousand songs, or cast you as the Queen Beloved in a hit TV show?  Shall I do pushups until my arms are rubber… and then keep going?  Shall I hunt thee, thy favorite rose though it may be snowing?  Shall I brave dangerous wonders, save countless children?  Take good care of you, and still to the impoverished give millions?  Shall I defy gravity, shall I demand the sun return its shine?  Shall I go outside and halt the rain, evoke the reign of the Divine?  Everything I am is tied to all that you are… You’ve enchanted my mind, my love, like the Sultan’s Jafaar…

It’s raining outside.

Snuggled up and cozy… Warm – no nose blowing… Movies, hot chocolate, cinnamon rolls – we got it.  Ice cream… always on any day.  Just keep your spoon out my cup, with this goodness I don’t play ;0)  I look into your eyes and I see the glow of a thousand colors twinkling… Sparkling.  Dreaming.  Every part of you is stock full of meaning… The way your hair falls, the way your body calls… Against you there is no resistance, but I pretend it, because to be all gooey lovesick is simply not a tough look… It just isn’t.  🙂  But you are my true love… My best friend – this crazy joy is the proof… The best trade I ever made… Was “I do” with you<3

It’s raining outside…

~The Wordsmith