River’s Choice

The river used to flow for me.

Tired and worn down, lips cracked with the merciless blood leaks of ambition… the dry riverbed would flow for me. Would grace me with the refreshing honor of parching my thirst and revitalizing my skin.

My invitation was open ended like the fat man’s appetite, never rescinded like glory in the afterlife, I would often make my way there after night. Hidden in shadow but spied by the discretion governed pale eye of the moon. Under cover of light and darkness I would whisper the gray of my heart out and the river would flow for me. Into my mouth, over my brain, through my eyes, across my back…

I was never ashamed to be broken because I knew the river’s affection for me began in eternity and continued on into forever.

Very often it was the weight of identity in my mind which drove me to my knees in defeat… needing the coolness of the river, but forcing myself to endure the heat. Desert sand began to define me like a dictionary written in braille with seashells in hand. I couldn’t see well enough to stand. Burden bigger than the sea whale Hancock threw off the land.

I collapsed at the river for healing again…

But that day my awareness of my neediness and spoiled gain played against me…

The river doesn’t flow for me anymore.

Flashback

I started off small.  Down near the ground… I was a child

Taco Bell, hot not mild, legal, no papers on file

Kirk Franklin at McDonalds, badabababa I love to smile

Telepath like Xavier, I was an X-Man, I had special powers

My mind was a playground, for the Divine, for so long, thought I was the last of my kind

But then… I grew.  Confronted by what I never knew.

Lost myself and got confused, what use is homeschool in the public dude!!

At least that’s what they told me, FOOL, is what I let them turn me into

Now I’m two halves.  Walking around.  Born for the sky, but livin on the ground

Drownin in the rain, cuz I’m poutin at the clouds, lactose intolerant but I was havin a cow!

My head stayed down, as I walked the streets, wondering, musing, pondering

I ignored the role call when they called on me, calmly feeling the numb they iced on me

So I made a plan- revenge.  My more words had more magic than stonehenge

All I had to was overdose ’em, go on and let ’em binge

I would steal their minds, since they took my heart, pretending to be friends!

Mario, where’s the checkpoint, I’m sick and tired of this mission

_

Fast forward a few years.  I’ve swapped in acid for my tears.

Tip back your head and drink, let it burn your think, maybe you will finally, see.  Me.

I’m a beast!!  Ate belle for breakfast.  … Then rang it, cuz I got restless

Dad on the other side.  Pulled my stress up.  Yeah he stayed home, but he might as well left us!!

Naked identity, but he never dressed us, starving for love, but he never fed us

And then there’s mom.  On an atomic level, I swear she’s the bomb

She’s like Mary, would never do Jesus wrong, she’ll breath the Gospel til Kingdom Come

And come what may, may her life be long, I’ll give her every penny if I can sell this song!

I hated my teen years.  Every milestone was two miles long!

I fell through the lily pads, cuz I had no knee pads, gasping almost drowning in the pond

Mentors told me it was time to move on, I said ludicrous, MOVE

Get out the way, the world hit me with four arms, now here’s my forearm

Better yet a firearm.  Shoot the opposition.  Mentors, God- I didn’t wanna listen

Got a girlfriend.  Broke my mama’s heart.  Clinging to my will almost tore my fam apart

Then God removed His hand, my plan crashed, went up in flames

2010, I’m in  YWAM, level one, new game

_

Flew in on grace… the atmosphere tasted like favor

Like red or grape, that kind of kool-aid is my favorite flavor

I was favored… to have some me time with my Savior

Made me over, made me new, I had forgotten He’s the maker

… I learned things… I learned a whole lot

Big kid on the playground now, I could RULE the sandlot

But my training wasn’t done, cuz I was tryna be the number one

But there’s only one, who’s done what He’s done, and His name aint Josh, no that’s the wrong son

Two weeks in He said to break up, testing to see if I’d pull my faith up

But God I’ll be the bad guy are you kidding me, all her little friends are gonna hate on me

Next I blink, and I’m in Haiti, strange as it seems, sweat and poverty saved me

Two months there, positively changed me, now go back home and do the same thing

He challenged me.  He told me that missions are everywhere.

I got back to the A, stepped off the plane, and the pains of re-entry struck me right in my face

Church schisms, family prisms, double sided livin, not too much forgivin

And before I knew it, I fell in the current, the mainstream life, be-came my deterrent…

_

6 months later.  Life was hell.  The latter half of 12, didn’t serve me well

So I fired em.  I turned 21.  Nature swag in motion.  Run forest run.

Things had changed, no thang the same, a whole different flame in my fireplace

Identity was hid in my pants because that is a private place

From then to now, I became a great poet, rockin stages, avalanche flowin

Snowin on my past in slow motion, seeee hoow I’m noo lonnger hopeless

From Clark Kent to Wordsmith, Superman off the farm

Han Solo so aint single, cuz He’s got a princess on his arm!!

The Sith done had they revenge, here comes the light, better cringe

Trekkies run for cover, this lightsaber aint ya lover

Shootin life, no time for rubbers, birds and bees is how I hover

And there’s never been another, not your father or your brother, HA

Enemy’s getting weezy, like an asthmatic Darth Va-der

That is cuz I run so fast, I outpace all my ha-ters

I strive to stay fly with God on High, as I walk in the sky

The Force is unleashed peeps, legacy in me,  I’m a freakin JEDI!!

**

-The Wordsmith

Expression

Sun kissed words shriveled like raisins, kissed and held up to the sky… The phrases and loquacious fragments have dribbled from my mouth to the floor and need to be purified… Made so divine.  They need parsing so we can know for once and for all which was truth and which was heartfelt lie… When I was a child it was the 3 second rule… Now I hear it is 5.  Five seconds to clean up the mess I opened my mouth and made.  Five seconds to deposit cash into the bank to match the check my mouth just made.  Five seconds to turn left into right, and create day out of night, bring peace through the fright, and frighten death off from life… But there are not words enough in the world for all of the expressions needed to be lain out.  After I’ve hung mine out to dry for you, what then shall I wear?  What words are left for the wordsmith – the thread spinner – when he has given them all away?  Nothing remains, but dust and empty wardrobes.  Wardrobes void of potent words, and far from the magic to transport you to unknown worlds… Like water with no oxygen, the wordless wordsman slowly floats away…

Dilated pupils of idiomatic expression… Metaphors spun by creative spiders to teach various lessons… Silver white winters, Sunday night dinners, waking up a winner – these are a few of my favorite things.  Despite the dog bites, and bee stings, I still manage to see green things – I see life.  In spite of the pool of darkness that drowns the stars, and the oppressive  din that steals the breaths from the strings of a guitar… I hear rustling – I hear the war angels coming.  More in tune with that which is out of tune, though not un-tuned, that tuning in to these tangible toons makes me loony… toons.  I know secrets like runes, and the marks are all over my body like invisible tattoos.  There’s no spark, these marks don’t reach my heart, but babble like baboons, chasing prose away like goons.  Soon.  Soon I shall be free.  I shall either die, meet my queen, or at last discover my other me.  But soon I shall be freed from this cage where I so freely dole out power and vision…. Soon… Soon…

I shall be free.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

~The Wordsmith

The Problem

Pardon me… I have a problem.

I do not stand to be treated for any less than I am… President, parent, teacher, associate, I pretty much don’t give a – darn.  You’re not going to talk to me like I’m a nobody.  A wise man once said “I may not have seen any miracles, but my being here has to count for something…”  It was a long hard battle before I came to understand my miracle nature.  To grasp the intuitively sublime atomic structure that each and every cell in my body is made of.  For too much of my life I dueled Social Sociopathic Designation for my identity… Far too long, and it cost me too much for you to think you’re just going to TAKE it from me.  You would have to kill me – good luck with that.

Pardon me… I have a problem.

I have an instinctive nature to protect women from the dogs of this earth seeking nothing more than a female dog for a quick fix, not realizing – or perhaps not caring – that such things do not exist, for when God made women He took the strength of a man, wrapped in the body of an angel, gave them His own life with a tender life kiss… So if you think that you can just walk up and disrespect my sister, you might want to consider if I’m anywhere within sniping distance.  You want to talk crazy to my mother?  I take that as a personal bother, no matter who you are… Not even you father.  Because if you really realized who you were talking to, you wouldn’t need a talking to, because if she leaves your presence once more in tears – I’ve got ten knuckles that stutter and talk in twos.  And for the myriad of God’s beloved in orbit around me, I assure complete safety.  You shall lay nary a finger on these angels amidst which God has placed me.

Pardon me… I have a problem.

I possess sincere dislike for the insincere and unauthentic.  Love God and love people… Life is too short to play say such things and not have meant it.  I don’t stick well to those who have predispositions on what or how I should be, and who can let our relationship go so casually unless it is me picking up the phone to make yours ring.  I’m not particularly fond of being judged by what I do not know, nor not knowing what it is exactly that you want, and why you want it, for surely – if you’ve been wanting it this long you’ve encountered it and been satisfied?  Or perhaps not.  Social groups I understand – everybody is not for everybody, but these days people are so wrapped up in themselves the question is “is there somebody for anybody?

Pardon me… I have a problem.

That’s what I’m told anyway… I don’t know anything… I think I know so much… Stay under the umbrella and never, ever grow up… Is what they told me.

… But this is MY story, and this is MY song… Ha.

But for those of you who are drawn to normal people… Be wary of me… I’m looking around…

And I have a problem.

~The Wordsmith